Think different(ly), squared

So, a very important leader to millions across the United States of America will take to the podium tomorrow. His carefully crafted speech likely will deliver great news, news so many have been waiting with bated breath to hear. News that could shape a generation. News that will make techies either groan or squeal with unequaled, unabashed joy.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs is seen
during an Apple event in September
in San Francisco
(File Photo / AP)

Yup, you got it: I'm not talking about President Obama and his State of the Union address — I'm talking about Steve Jobs and the Apple announcement slated for 10 a.m. (PST) Wednesday.


"Come see our latest creation," Apple beckons. Such mystery. Rumors everywhere suggest that the focus of the news conference will be the ever elusive tablet. But the tiniest of supposed intel leaks to (by?) the Wall Street Journal and elsewhere (Read iJournalism: Why Even Steve Jobs Can't Keep Secrets Anymore) has produced more questions than placated any suppositions. What will it do? What will it look like? What will they call it? What in the world were they thinking?

But seriously, what if the new Apple product being announced tomorrow is NOT a tablet? Will a plague befall mankind? What if, all along, Apple intended to introduce something else, and we all ruined it. I imagine the product marketing meeting could have gone something like this:

Jobs: "So, we all ready with the iPhone 3D with helicopter capabilities?"
Designer: "Yes, Mr. Jobs, we even added in a button that turns your phone into a voice-controlled car, but listen! Everyone thinks we're making a tablet."
Jobs: "But we did make a tablet... in, like, 1994. They didn't like it."
Board member: "No, she means the public thinks we're making a new one that will be far more awesome than that. Like an iPhone, but bigger."
Jobs: "Nothing's more awesome than an iPhone."
Designer: "Yeah, I know, right, but we designers were bored the other day and totally already made a new tablet if you want to go ahead and debut that instead!"
Jobs: "Fine, I guess so. If that's what the people want, but..."
Board member: "Do it. Otherwise Google, our evil frenemy, will beat us to it, and then I — and my money — will be sad."
Jobs: "Tablet it is."

For serious, though, tablet or no, what will Apple and its new product be bringing to 2010? Will it revolutionize? Add a new challenger to the e-book battle? Ultimately disappoint? I can't wait to find out :)